Infertility - The Golden Polka Dot


We have been battling with infertility issues for about 5 years now, however I don’t think we realized it was a true battle until just this last year when we experienced our 4th misccairge and 3 right in a row. Then diagnosed with some un-curable issues. You can read our story below but before I want to touch on a couple things I feel passionate about. Although this isn’t the worst thing that could happen to someone and people may remind you of that, don’t ever discount how huge of heart wrenching burden this is to carry. For me it took a hit to my self-confidence, my physical body, relationships, my spirit, and our bank account. It’s hard for people who have not gone through this trial to understand how taxing it can be on a family on all front, especially your emotional/mental health.



How I have coped:



Friends/Family

I think for most people this might be the hardest to tell friends/family of lost pregnancies or struggles to get pregnant. Maybe pick 1-5 people who you trust. As you can guess I decided to announce ours to the world and this is not for everyone. It can be so comforting to know you have people fighting with you, someone to call and cry to when you need to vent. It is not something to be ashamed of in any sense!

There are many Facebook groups and private Instagram groups that you can join. Strangers who are dealing with the same things can be awesome to connect with.



Grieve

Allow your self to grieve! Losing a baby is truly the hardest thing I have had to go through. It doesn’t matter if it was 4,8,12 weeks; you are still losing what you thought your future would hold. You still don’t get to hold that baby you have been dreaming on in 9 months and that is HARD.
Don’t be afraid to feel all these emotions and validate them. Stuffing them down will most likely be more painful in the long run if not dealt with.



Time/Space

Remember grieving takes time, sometimes longer then you image. You might feel fine for weeks and then fall apart again and that’s okay. It usually takes me a couple months to feel “normal” again after each one.

Allow yourself some space if you need it. There are certain family members or friends that won’t know how to act around you or say insensitive things; maybe a pregnant sister or girlfriend. It’s okay to create some space for yourself while you heal. I always wanted to be invited to my friend’s baby showers but during hard times I would explain I couldn’t come but personally drop off or mail a give.





Find a routine

After my ectopic pregnancy, which was a very traumatic experience for me, I started seeing a therapist. I didn’t feel like myself, cried all the time, couldn’t sleep at night and was just angry. She helped me develop a routine just for me because I loved myself! I set goals to drink water, eat a little more balanced (no more meals of brownies!), 10 minutes of physical fitness, then at night I would listen to “calm” the app for 6 minutes to meditate right before bed. Yours could look different, but sit and think about things that can help you feel more like “you” and re-fresh your mind each day.



Remember it’s okay to be mad, upset, cry, go smash a couple cups from the dollar store (in a safe location), everyone grieves different but I have been all those things! Allow yourself to feel those emotions when needed. Then when you’re done with the angry write a note to this sweet baby you are dreaming of meeting one day. I have a drawer of things I’m collecting for my next miracle baby. Find what works for you!





“The irony is that we attempt to disown our difficult stories to appear more whole or more acceptable. But our Wholeness – even our whole heartedness’ – actually depends on the integration of all our experience including the falls.” – Brene Brown



I choose everyday to let all these hard experiences make me the person I am for the better and own our story along with its hardships!



Our Story

Our whole fertility story from start to finish is long so I won't drag on with the details but I will attempt to be brief and share our history about the journey.



I had some undiagnosed chronic pain for about a year. We literally had zero idea where it was coming from after seeing many different doctors. I started to feel crazy and gave up on answers. We then started to try and have our first child, after 9 months we got pregnant then miscarried. We kept trying and another 8 months went by and we were still not pregnant. We started to do some minimal testing. We were then sent to a specialist in Utah (currently in Idaho at the time) after having my fallopian tubes flushes I was scheduled for exploratory surgery to find the cause of my chronic pain and fertility issues. As I was about to be wheeled back into the operating room the nurse ran in and announced I was pregnant. I thought maybe it was a sick joke. But she was serious and my husband and I both burst into tears. Since I was pregnant I had to stop taking my pain meds for my chronic pain and also had to quit my job to rest because the pain was so intense. Healthy baby girl born Dec. 2013



Dec. 2014 - we decided we better start trying for baby number two since we knew it was possible it could take us awhile. I met with my specialist before we started and amazingly got pregnant without help, then miscarried at 4 weeks 2 days. We tried again for a couple months, chronic pain getting much worse with each week. Did some fertility treatments and I was 100% sure I was pregnant but after 11 tests were all negative I finally decided my symptoms were from me being C R A Z Y! Which my husband reminds me is true! So we scheduled another surgery to find out what this terrible pain was, had a pre-op appointment did an ultrasound/blood work ect.



My doctor called me to cancel the surgery and announce I was pregnant. I bawled my face off and then explained something must be wrong because we just did an ultrasound and saw no baby and I should be 6.5 weeks by now. He told me I probably mis-calculated. 5 AM the next morning he calls me and my husband 6 times and texts us. (Such an amazing doctor!) He says "come to my office right away don't eat or drink". I was indeed 6.5 weeks pregnant with an ectopic pregnancy. I was rushed to the ER that morning to have a very extensive surgery where I was diagnosed with stage 3/4 endometriosis (my chronic pain for years!), polyps, and golf ball cysts.



After that surgery there had been a micro flec of placenta left in my fallopian tube and the placenta continued to grow, and fast. So they started giving me shots of chemo to kill the placenta. These shots made my stomach hurt, eating hurt, my body hurt, my mouth had blisters, I was exhausted and in pain still recovering from surgery. I seriously don't know how cancer patients do that for years. It breaks my heart! After two weeks of this one morning I woke up screaming in pain, we rushed in to see my doctor and again rushed to the ER where they removed my bursting infected placenta filled fallopian tube. So this now cuts my chances of natural pregnancy in half.



We had to wait 3 months for the chemo to leave my system and then we did another round of fertility treatments and got pregnant again. It felt so real. I felt sick; I felt everything a pregnant person should feel until week 6 and 2 days when I started to feel not pregnant. We had already announced to the world because I was so determined this baby would actually be ours here on earth. But at 6.5 weeks we found out the baby had stopped growing and died. At 8 weeks I had a D&C to surgically remove the pregnancy.



Where do we stand now? Endometriosis, recurring rapid pregnancy lost, one fallopian tube, polyps, and cysts; 5 pregnancies and only 1 baby. We feel devastated to be honest! We have done every test under the sun and spent thousands of dollars trying to get a healthy pregnancy. So we are saving up again, and for now we are enjoying our miracle baby and praying that one-day we can have a big family like we always dreamed.



It's become our mission to help other families going through this heart-wrenching journey. Help them financially but help their hearts, share their stories and help women feel less alone. Most people would never be so public about such a topic, but I just want people to know they are not alone! There is H O P E !





Come follow our journey:

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Facebook.com/thegoldenpolkadot

Twitter @goldenpolkadot


--

The Golden Polka Dot Owner

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Malouf - Pregnancy Pillow

Many pregnant women find it hard to get a good night's sleep with the continuous change in their bodies and their growing bump. Some of them even start suffering from back pain and leg cramps which makes it a challenge to find a comfortable position to sleep in. The perfect solution for those women is using a pregnancy body pillow... A pregnancy body pillow will provide support for your baby bump, back, neck, shoulder and legs, in other words, the whole body. It is designed specifically to help mothers-to-be sleep in a half fetal position, which is the best sleeping position especially for those suffering from back and neck pains. It also helps calm down those who worry too much about tossing and turning in their sleep, fearing they might accidentally pose too much pressure on their baby bump. This body pillow will limit your movements while sleeping, and thus helping you get uninterrupted sleep.



About: Pregnancy body pillows are large pillows that are available in many sizes and shapes, such as the U-shaped, the wedge, the bean-shaped, and many more. Although each type of them has different benefits, it is said that the pregnancy body pillows are the most comfortable for the majority of expecting mothers. helping them to sleep well. My husband calls it my "boyfriend" well because I would rather snuggle the pillow then my husband. 
Price: $99.00
Ease of Use: The pillow cover cleans and comes off easily for washing.
Looks: A nice white color and the most tempting thing to fall asleep in. 
Found At: Online at malouf.com 
Quality: Love that the pillow holds up, can be used through multiple pregnancies. Customized support without the need for multiple pillows. Hypoallergenic fill will not shift or clump. Ultra-soft rayon from bamboo velour cover can be removed and laundered
Best Use: When your pregnant and need a good nights sleep. 
Our Rating: 5 out of 5 stars 


Pros:

1. Another benefit for the pregnancy body pillow, is that you can still use it after you've had your baby. You can use it while sleeping, as a support for the baby while nursing.

2. Even using your body pillow as a barrier for your kid through his early years while sleeping to prevent him from rolling over.

3. Body pillows can help relieve back pains for non-pregnant ladies and even men as well.

4. It's even recommended for those who need to sleep with their feet slightly elevated than the rest of their body.

5. I broke my hip when I was young and experience the most painful hips when pregnant. This pillow works so well that when I am sleeping my hips don't hurt and go numb. 

Cons:
1. I won't be able to sleep anywhere without it.

2. Me and my husband fight over the "boyfriend"

Tava, Travel Passports Review





Anytime traveling to a new place, with children can be hard. I love the idea of making a new city fun and exciting for any child. I also felt it gave my child a heads up for each new thing coming up, made the transition easier.  



About: Made for kids of all ages! Our cards are made for children who can read but little kids (with the help of their parents) can understand them as well.  We have also added a simple game on the back to keep your little globe-trotter busy during travel. 
Making Memories: We hope our Tava Passports become a keepsake for children to remember their trip by.
Price: $15.00
Ease of Use: Easy to use and Easy for any child to be able to understand and use. 
Looks: Comes in a stylish passport size. plastic outside. the plastic makes it easy to clean and keep organized. 
Found At: Online at http://www.tavadventures.com/
Quality: Passport comes with ten 4x6 travel cards highlighting the main sights
Best Use: When traveling with little ones, make sthings easier and funnier. 
Our Rating: 5 out of 5 stars


Pros:
1. Made traveling to new city easy and fun.

2. Made the transition for my 4 year old easier.

3. The pictures where so fun to compare with the locations we where at.

4. Love that my little one can keep these as a great keepsake.

5. Working with the company was easy and smooth. They truly believe in their product and I love that.

6. Makes me want to travel more and more.

Cons:
1, Now I have to pay more money to travel all of the amazing place that Tava offers for their passports. 

Little Babe Designs Review


A t-shirt that doesn't have Elmo or some truck on it, SIGN ME UP!!!!
It hard to find a good quality t-shirt with out paying an arm and a leg. Babe designs are hip and reasonable priced. 

About: Looking for a stylish t-shirt that every kid has? Then look no further because babe designs knows what they are doing. 
Price: $20.75 - $55.00 
Ease of Use: Love the basic black and white prints makes for easy washing. Stains come out easily. 
Looks: Comes in stylish prints and sayings.. 
Found At: Online at http://little-babe-designs.com
Quality: A great tshirt that doesn't shrink. Follow care instruction. Safe white ink on 100% cotton.
Best Use: Can be used for a boy or girl, gender neutral. 
Our Rating: 5 out of 5 stars 

Pros:
1. Safe white ink on 100% cotton.

2. Gender neutral. 

3. Great fit 

4. Great company to work with. 


Cons:
1. Now I need to buy more then one!

Salt of the Earth - Mineral Cream, Coconut Mango



I have the most sensitive skin EVER. I am always so hesitate to try new products, yes I am that girl at the Nordstrom counter asking a million questions. Then I get 5 samples and refill for months before I take the plunge, It was so great to be able to try Salt of the Earth and not be afraid of my skin freaking out. Knowing directly where the product comes from is reassuring. Love being able to trust a product. Get ready to feel like your at the spa everyday. 


About: Smooth on our luxurious, decadent Whipped Body Cream and discover the healing properties of natural Grape seed Oil, rich in Vitamins A and E to rebuild collagen and repair damaged skin.
Price: $15.00 each 6oz 
Ease of Use: Easy to apply and wash off. 
Looks: Comes in a stylish cute bottle. Easy to open. 
Found At: Online at https://www.saltearthspa.com/
Quality: The Cream is so rich and thick, but absorbs quickly into your skin. 
Best Use: Great for after shower, dry skin or just for a relaxing massage after the kids are asleep. 
Our Rating: 5 out of 5 stars


Pros:
1, Absorbs quickly into skin. Doesn't leave a greasy feel on your skin. 

2. My skin feels softer.

3. Would be great for those dry Utah winters.

4. The fresh Mango and Coconut Smell, felt like I was in Hawaii. 

5. The companies owner really loves and believes in his product. It's so fun to follow them on Instagram and see how much they care about their product.

6. I also loved sampling their Menthol infused cream for those achy pains. 



Cons:
1. Now I want to open a spa and spread the love of Salt of the Earth. 

Stitched Quilt Review


With Stitched, ANYONE can create a completely custom quilt - no sewing knowledge or experience required. 
It's a super simple 4-step process, only one of which requires any work from you:
1) Find a quilt design that you like. You can order the default design, customize any of the default designs, or even design a quilt from scratch using our Advanced Design Tool. You are in total control of your design: your customization can be as simple as changing out the text, as involved as changing the color of every fabric in the whole design, or you can create a truly one-of-a-kind design with the advanced design tool. We've made it so you can get exactly the quilt you want.
2) They digitally print your quilt design using our state of the art digital textile printer on our color-fast cotton poplin fabric. The digital print-on-demand process is designed to minimize wasted fabric and ink. Since we print only what is ordered, there’s no leftover printed fabric that we can’t use (unlike traditional quilting methods). Our inks have been tested for harmful chemicals (like formaldehyde and lead) and are found to be safe for infant use.
3) Our U.S.-based quilters will apply edge-to-edge machine quilt stitching to your design, using Hobbs batting (the soft stuff in the middle of quilts), and super soft Cuddle® minky fabric on the back of the quilt. (Minky has been called one of the "softest fabrics in the world").

4) Enjoy your beautiful, made to order custom quilt. We'll ship your finished quilt from our facility within 7 business days, and it should arrive on your doorstep within 10 business days ready for you or your loved ones to enjoy. 

About: A modern quilt that is perfect for any little one to play on or cuddle up with. Finished with super soft minky on back and edge to edge quilting.  
Price: $119.00$259.00
Ease of Use: Machine wash cold, gentle cycle.Wash with like colors using phosphate free detergent. Do not bleach. Choose a larger load size to prevent creasing. Tumble dry low, remove promptly or line dry. Warm Iron.
Looks: Their batting is a blend of cotton & polyester, which provides exceptional strength and durability during the quilting process.  The backs of our quilts feature Cuddle® minky fabric, one of the softest fabrics in the world, which is exclusively produced and sold by Shannon Fabrics.
Found At: Online at https://shopstitched.com/
Quality: They print on a high-quality, 100% cotton, pre-shrunk, optic white poplin fabric. The fabric is soft and durable. 
Best Use: For everyday use to snuggling or laying on a bed for decoration.
Our Rating: 5 out of 5 stars


Pros:
1. The quilt has the softest Minky Material.

2.The digital print-on-demand process is designed to minimize wasted fabric and ink.

3. The ink and prink is beautiful.

4. The quilting is sturdy and will last long. Great for kids. 

5. Its already become our special blanket in our house. My daughters fight over it. 

Cons:
1. Now I have to buy my other daughter one!!!

Adelisa & Co Leather Sandals


I love finding shoes that are gender neutral and have good quality leather that will last me through more then one season for my kids. Well with Adelisa and Co you don't have to pick just one thing, plus the price is great too!!

About: Handmade 100% Leather sandals.
Price: $21.00 each pair
Ease of Use: Comes with a strong sole and great metal clip. Made to hold up.
Looks: All come in trendy designs and cute fit. 
Found At: Online at https://www.adelisaandco.com/
Quality: Amazing leather, quality that will last through multiple kids. 
Best Use: Great summer shoes for your little one.
Our Rating: 5 out of 5 stars 


Pros:
1.  Handmade by artisans in Nicaragua.

2. They offer coupons and discount codes on their Instagram site.

3. 10% of their sales gets donated to Nicaragua families in need.

4, Love that the sandals can be used for Boys or Girls. 

5. Works for wide or thinner feet,

6. Working with the company was a breeze. They care about their product!



Cons:
1.The appearance/look of the Masaya shoe changes with the size - so please reference the last picture to see the difference between the smaller and bigger sizes!